This past week I've been going through quite mixed feelings. I can honestly say that I feel happier than I have felt for a long, long time in my life. It's all because of this country - the atmosphere and the people who amaze me by their hospitality and friendliness every time. But, at the same time, there are things in every day life that make me very sad. Maybe in the beginning I didn't see them well, or maybe I didn't want to. But after being here for a month, the reality of this country has hit me. One of the hardest things for me is to accept the big difference that exists between the rich and the poor, which I'm not used to seeing in Finland. The saddest thing of those, which I see every day, is the children that live on the street. In this area where we live, there are quite a lot of them. As this is a wealthier area of the town, these kids hang around here hoping to get money and food from the residents. However, we have been told not to give money to them as they would only buy glue for sniffing it. So, if we want to help them a little bit, it's better to give them food. Some mornings when I have woken up and looked through the window, I've seen something that really breaks my heart: kids sleeping on the ground without any blankets, just having a small fire to warm them up as the nights are still pretty cold. At those moments, I really hate the injustice in this world and feel so bad about the fact that I'm fortunate in my life... But it's part of this experience. If I want to live this experience to the fullest, I need to face those things even though it hurts. Like I wrote last time: every day here is a lesson about life. Seeing the reality here is certainly a lesson that changes my way of thinking. How cliché it may sound, but when I go back to Finland, I will appreciate things that I have taken for granted so far. And also, I will think twice before complaining about little things.
Maybe I'm one of those people who like to be shaked by the facts of life - whether in good or bad. Despite the misery I see here, I have started to think something these past days: I could actually live here! I never thought about this before. This thought came out of the blue one day when I was walking on the beach. It really stopped me. This is something I want about life.
As for studies, everything is finally clear. In the beginning I was supposed to do a psychological research, but then I finally decided to drop it as it would have taken too much time. I think it's more useful for me to concentrate on studying arabic and if I really want to learn it, I need to put it a lot of effort. Little by little, I'm starting to read it but writing it is more difficult. I have classes in both classical arabic, which is the universal language of all the arabic countries, and "darija" which is the Moroccan dialect spoken here. Every day I'm using some phrases that I have learned when communicating with people. It always makes a good impression on them:) People are always impressioned when I say something in their language, and they start to speak to me something really quickly, which unfortunately, I don't understand anymore... :D
On Saturday, we celebrated the international Women's Days as well as Laura's 25th birthday. It was really nice. We invited many people from school in our home and had a great party with them. Laura had ordered a cake from the bakery that said in arabic and french "Happy Women's Day, Jean Pierre 50 years." Heh heh! Actually we don't know any Jean Pierre, it was just a joke since there was no logic in it. You can imagine that the guests were pretty confused about it! Afterwards we went to a night club which was a nice experience for me since it's pretty different here than in Finland. There was a live artist singing arabic music and people were dancing so well. Wait until I get back to Finland and I will show you all the moves that I have learned here! :D I feel very lucky to have so many nice Moroccan friends that are really sincere and want only good for me. As for here, it's always good to pay attention to which people you should trust.
Ok, I think it's about the time for me to go to bed. I haven't felt very good today since there has been a weird feeling in my stomach the whole day (Kristiina, in Tanzania, I guess you know what I mean!:D) Oh well, it's only part of the experience, as I tend to say about everything! :)
Mselkhir, good night, my dear friends.
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