Time to go

My last week in Morocco. I can't believe it. It was like yesterday when I arrived here almost five months ago, no matter how cliché it may sound. I remember the first days when I was walking in the town in Laura, confused about everything new I saw around me. I was wondering how I would ever got to know the town, how I would learn to find my way on its small streets that look the same. How I would learn to cross a street without getting hit by a car? How I would learn to be strong with people who are just trying to take advantage of me in and gentle with those who are sincere. Thinking about those first feelings, it puts a smile on my face. Oh yes, I did learn all that. And much more that I couldn't imagine, mostly about myself and about my way of seeing life and what is important in it.

I think I'm ready to leave with everything that this country has given me, in good and in bad. Lately, I have been thinking what I'm gonna miss here and on the contrary, what things I have been missing about Finland.

Things that I will miss from Morocco:

- PEOPLE, in the genuine way of expressing their feelings, may it be the positive of negative ones. I have been talking about Moroccan hospitality before and it's definitely the thing that I'm gonna miss the most. People inviting me, a stranger, in their home and yet making me feel as I were part of the family. Wow, could we ever do it back home?
- Imperfections. I have learned to see how imperfections can be so beautiful. Why does everything always have to be so nice and tidy around us? I find that it's much more interesting to look around and see things that are a bit (or a bit more) rough around the edges.
- Small markets with fruits, vegetables, clothes, jewelry.. everything you can imagine. What do we need supermarkets for??
- Cheap food, what a shock it will be to go back home and see the prices. Good-bye 1-2 euros restaurant meals...
- Fresh squeezed orange juice! And those little shops by the streets where you can buy different kind of natural juices, cakes, and fruit salads with ridiculous prices.
- prayers coming from the mosques, I might wake up at night in Finland and wonder what is wrong since I don't hear that familiar sound that in the beginning always woke me up at night.
-living next the sea and feeling it's smell and breeze when I go out.
-eating from the same plate with everyone with bread or hands. What a feelings of collectiveness! And what do we need a fork and knife for...? :)

Things that I'm looking forward to in Finland:

- Cool weather! I'm telling you, I'm sweating like in sauna now...
- Being able to walk on the streets without anybody bothering me, whisteling at me, wanting to start a conversation with me. Being able to sit on the bench without someone sitting next to me and asking me from I'm from, what I'm doing here, whether I'm married, whether I would be interested in getting married... Oh, yes, I need to be able to be alone for a while!
- Finnish nature. I might be blinded by everything green I will see around me as the Moroccan nature is looking pretty dead now since it hasnt been raining in ages.
- Finnish food. Yeah, I'm missing our brown breed so much! I might never wanna eat white bread anymore... Also I'm missing finnish candies (salmiakki, I'm coming...), cereals, musli, joghurts...
- Doing sports! I feel bad physically and emotionally that I havent been doing any sports here. Yeah, and that can be seen on my waist...
- Believe or not, I miss my studies and working, doing something useful and interesting. This vacation is over, and I'm full of energy :)


Spending my last week, my feelings are confused as you might imagine. I'm excited to go back home and find everything I left there. But I'm also wondering, will the things be the same as I left them? I feel that I have changed. I feel that my way of seeing things has changed. So, am I really going back to what I left behind five months ago? It makes me a bit nervious. What if I find it really hard to get used to my life in Finland? What if I'll be missing Morocco so much that I get depressed? What if I don't know where I belong? What I'm scared the most is that what if the feeling of restlessness inside of me will never go away and after being a week in Finland I will already be surfing on the net looking for plane tickets, voluntary work programs, anything that would get me away. Planning and dreaming. Hmm, my next destination, what would it be?